Viewer discretion is advised because white men like Jack just cannot jump.

In the Recaps, Davros (Exterminate! Exterminate!) is a heckuva shot with an RPG. Someone says he “hailed a cab when he left.” *thumps chest* Hail, cab! (ok, ok, a brief recap. We have to ease on into this season, right? Don’t want to pull a muscle right out of the starting gate.)

As we get underway, Chief of Staff Weiss is squeezing Hastings. Now, that comes with Hastings’ job, getting leaned on by higher ups. However, Weiss seems to be one of those types who think leadership means berating underlings and if things aren’t happening fast enough it’s only because he isn’t yelling loud enough.

Dana and Arlo (an anagram for Anal Road, in case you were wondering) are talking sexy to each other. Issacs-Aaler algorithm. Coo. Coo.

Jack is out in Queens or somewhere already. Through NYC rush hour traffic. Inside the house of hostages, Jim provokes a guy with a gun, a guy who minutes ago proved he’s willing to use it. Capt Ravello calls, and Davros forces Jim to answer it. Jim’s only bargaining chip is not to answer and give Davros the green light to take his shift. But, Jim folds, and it’s going to cost him and his wife. Ravello is awfully understanding about Jim being sick, isn’t he?

Outside, Jack gonna play sum ball wid da boyz in da hood. Except the boyz are rather territorial about their court. Jack shows a little leg,  a little pistol, and one of them is enough to convince da boyz to back off. Jack starts passing around dead presidents for anyone who saw Davros. Across the street, a brutha sez.

Jack creeps around and becomes a peeping tom. Jim and Mags are dead. Awww. Then Jack kicks in a door for some breaking and entering. That’s two crime in less than a minute. Not bad for a Grandpa. However, Grandpa’s reflexes aren’t as sharp as they once were, and Jack is tasered.

At the first break, clocks are at :12 to :12. After the break, clocks are at :17 to :15. Time sits on a rocking chair on the porch, wondering where all the minutes went.

Back at CTU, the decryption program is already running at capacity. Ha. That’s kind of an old joke software development. The users always want a “Go Faster” button somewhere in the app.

A guard calls Dana. White Trash is here to see her at Perimeter Gate 9. (What, there are 8 other gates? How big is this CTU?) Chloe glowers at Dana, like she’s wondering why Dana keeps slinking off with these calls.

Kevin is outside. He’s a real piece of work, isn’t. He threatens and badgers and intimidates Dana into giving him the key to her apartment. Well, this can only end in tears. Yup, that ol’ CTU Employee Vetting Program is still running at top notch efficiency, innit.

Chloe ambushes Hastings. The way she’s talking here, she sounds like a kid in some old Hollywood western. “Gee, Sherrif, I’m thinkin’ I should go fetch Mr. Jack. He dun went to fetch dat assassin and…”

Back at the house, Officer Mazoni is really working Jack over, thinking Jack is a cop killer. Not that Jack hasn’t been beat up before, but he’s really taking a pounding. Ouch. But, nobody keeps Jack down for long. A little Jack-fu and the chair is destroyed and Mazoni is the one getting beat to a pulp.

Back at somewhere, Davros joins the security team briefing led by Cole. A bridge will be closed till tomorrow for security? That’s gonna cause absolute havoc with NYC traffic, won’t it?

At the break, clocks are at :27 to :26. After the break, clocks are at :31 to :30.

Hassan and President What?! are haggling over transfering NATO supplies through his territory. She’s for it, he’s agin it. Hastings calls, wanting to confirm Reed’s claim that she and Hassan were engaged in a little rnnh rnnh, and a little rnnh rnnh.

Why would Hastings call be put right through like that, interrupting an important international negotiation? Farhad urges Hassan to deny the affair. But, Hassan is honorable and proudly says “Yup, I’m banging whatzhername.”

Worried, Farhad calls Davros. I think we’re getting the Sunset Shot here, with a nice aerial view of New York at twilight, but usually we get an actual frame of the sun itself. And indeed it is dark of night within minutes. Huh, strange. One of lamest Sunset Shots we’ve had.

At the break, clocks are at :36 to :36. After the break, clocks are at :41 to :40.

Dana and Arlo again. I can tell I will quickly stop look forward to Dana and Arlo scenes. Dana forgot to upload the Rijndael blah dee blahdiddy dah.

The mystery fake misleading file is finally decrypted. Dana instantly knows it depicts some construction work done at the UN 8 months ago. Riiiight. Apparently there’s a bomb planted over there! Evacuate! We’re at Code Red! Klaxons! Sirens! Evacuate!

Outside, Davros, aka Unit 5, is in place. He arms a manhole cover. Exterminate! Exterminate!

At the break, clocks are at :47 to :46. After the break, clocks are at :52 to :50.

The bigwigs are being evacuated through a parking ramp! A 24 favorite! (I’m sure because they can film during the day, even though it’s supposed to be night in the current episode.)

Officer Lu is playing taxi for Jack, racing him back to the UN. Jack gets ahold of Cole, and convinces to stop Hassan’s car. Which he does just before the manhole cover goes BOOM.

The episode goes tumbling end over end with the clocks at :00 to :55.

Number of times someone says a variation “Now!”, “No!”, “Move!” or “Go!”: 16
Number of times a “protocol” or “grid” is mentioned: 5
Number of times a “perimeter” is mentioned: 4
Number of times Jack/someone says “Drop the weapon!”: 2
Number of torture scenes : 0
Number of moles: 1
Approximate Body Count: 10, plus one helicopter