Viewer discretion is advised because a dead guy with cold blood is shot down in cold blood.

In the recaps, Cole doesn’t want to see Kevin or Psycho again, putting him in the camp of 99.999% of America. Psycho then puts that to the test, and when Cole sees him again, Psycho meets the business end of a shotgun. Daughter Hassan, Farhad, and rods, oh my! Weiss is looking for someone to blame, and Renee gets the part. Jack is in till this whole season, er, terrorist incident is over.

As we begin, we’re at the UN, where apparently member nations can hold people in custody on the premises. Tarin will be transported to the embassy (is it in New York, and not DC?). Daughter Hassan swings by, and Romeo and Juliet have a moment. Bashir (him?) has agreed to help Tarin escape, and Tarin urges his lady to meet him at the Teodore Hotel. Wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean, eh, know what I mean?

Then, I’m quite confused why the krazy kaptions say “crickets chirping,” but then notice that Dana is in the frame, too. Thought the UN had an infestation for a minute.

Dana blurts out “Cole, he’s dead!” Isn’t the line supposed to be “He’s dead, Jim!”? Yeah, a knife in the gut and a shotgun in the sternum tends to have that effect on people. Dana wants to call the police, but Cole wants no part of that, sensing his career and life spiraling down a stainless steel toilet fixed to the wall of an 8×9 cell.

Cole would prefer they strip down the van of all identifying marks and throw the bodies in the swamp. (Where in NYC are they?! I realize that the Kevin/Psycho thread is Deliverance, but a forest, a swamp?)

Back at CTU, Hastings gets a call. The krazy kaptions say ‘Patty (on line).” Patty?

It’s Taylor, asking her usual question. “What do we know?” She’s in the dark so much, she should be called President Mushroom. Hastings then tells Weiss, privately, to go perform an anatomically impossible function on himself. Renee is off limits.

Jack is prepping his new team. A team that must be wondering why a retired civilian grandpa is suddenly in charge of their team. Jack whips Agents King, Lynch and Owen into shape.

Hassan arrives, and has a lovely chat with Taylor. Taylor threatens to level his country with nukes if he doesn’t provide intel files on all the covert operatives that might be in NY.  Hassan decides not to play poker, and caves.

On the mean city streets, Tarin frees himself and indulges in a bit of carjacking. “Ha, now I real American!” He calls his lady, who is just leaving the UN. The UN is being mopped down. That crew is working some late hours.

At the first break, the 24 clock is at :12, and the wall clock is at :12. Coming back, the clocks are at :17 to :14. Centripetal forces threaten to tear Time apart.

Hastings gets another call, and this time the krazy kaptions say “Woman (over headset).” What, did Patty go on break? It’s Farhad, he’s getting a bit panicky. Hastings tells him to stay put, but Farhad bolts out of cover like a hare, and pays the price. The price being two slugs in his torso. Jack and team arrive just then, so the sniper doesn’t have the chance to administer the coup de grace.

An attempt is made to revive Farhad. Someone orders up 30 cc of epenephrine (adrenalin). Now, I’m no doctor. But, my nurse wife said epenephrine usually comes in 1 cc sizes, and, I saw something online that said a usual dose is “The standard dose of epinephrine used in cardiopulmonary resuscitation, 1 mg given intravenously every 5 minutes.” I think CTU just gave Farhad enough epenephrine to make his heart bore through his chest and explode.

Taylor goes in to talk with They Call Him Tim! Tim from Homeland, who answered phones for Taylor last season. (And good to see Cisco TelePresence Suite is still a sponsor.) Tim has happy news. If the rods are used a weapon, there could be tens of thousands of casualties. NY could be uninhabitable for 40 years. Some would argue that has already happened. Taylor will do what she does best, and that is flee in terror.

Tarin is already at a rather posh hotel. He tells his lady that he’s already contacted an American lawyer he knows about asylum.

Farhad has expired, and with him CTU’s last lead. Jack has an idea, though. He wants to use Farhad as “dead bait.” (Jack’s words.) They’ll set a trap for the terrorists and say Farhad is still alive. The baddies will have to come after Farhad, to silence him.

At the break, clocks are at :25 to :23. Coming back, clocks are at :29 to :27.

Dana and Cole give Kevin and Psycho a burial at sea. They are thigh deep in swamp muck. How’s Dana going to explain all that back at CTU?  ”It took you hours to go manually reboot a server? And what happened to your clothes? Is the server in a swamp?”

While the bodies head to Davey Jones’ locker, the krazy kaptions say “water gurgling” and “water burbling.” Dana asks Cole “What about us?” He says “I don’t know.” I hope that’s Guy Talk for “Oh my Lord in heaven, I’m engaged to a psychotic felon. I’ve abandoned my post in the middle of a national crisis to help her kill some white trash. How do I get myself out of this?”

Farhad is at St Julians Hospital. St Julian is the patron saint of, among other things, clowns and fiddle players. That cannot bode well for the rest of this episode.

The terrorists have arranged, in a mere matter of minutes, for some guy named Marcos to strap on a suicide vest and head for the hospital. How did that conversation go? (Remember, they didn’t know they’d need to do something like this until five minutes ago.) Marcos is the right guy for the job because his mother is American and so he won’t be profiled as a lunatic Middle East terrorist.

Speaking of mom, Marcos calls her. She’s named Emily according to the krazy kaptions. Marcos tells her to get out of town, and go to Aunt Shelley’s. He doesn’t explain, and Ma is understandably confused as all heck.

Jack and team will stake out the hospital, and await the inevitable terrorist assault on the hospital. Owen is barely holding his mud. There are a lot of Copy Thats during these scenes. You could all play the Copy That Drinking Game, if you want.

At the break, clocks are at :35 to :32. Coming back, clocks are at :39 to :36.

In the split screens, we see Tarin is having carnal knowledge of Ms. Hassan. I didn’t think the fundies did that sort of thing. I thought they were repulsed by and afraid of women. Tarin seems quite comfortable.

The hospital stakeout goes about as you’d expect, given this is CTU. Marcos is spotted by facial recognition, and Jack, always eager to send someone else to die for the cause, sends Owen out to stall him. Marcos says he has a bomb, and takes Owen’s weapon. Well, this is going well.

At the break, clocks are at :47 to :44. Coming back, clocks are at :51 to :47.

Hassan calls his wife, who is leaving on a jet plane. We don’t know when she’ll be back again. Hassan wants her to help find their daughter. She agrees. Hassan warns that the rods are in the hands of “the terrorists.” Wonder why Mrs Hassan didn’t say “uh, wouldn’t that be us?”

Chloe recognizes the detonator has a K7 variant, and will try to disarm in with the usual CTU technomagic. They cut things a little close as Marcos marches Owen all the way into Farhad’s room before the detonator is neutralized. Marcos shoots Farhad dead, only to realize someone else had already beat him to it.

So, rather than surrender to Jack, he leaps out of a third story window. Not only is he not torn to shreds by the glass, he is uninjured by the fall. He scurries off to another hospital entrance. (Completely unguarded, naturally. Another airtight CTU perimeter!)

Then, within mere steps of the hospital entrance, he has found some kind of pressure chamber and he locks himself in. Are these chambers typically just inside public entrances in hospitals?

Marcos manages to call his terror supervisor and tell him that Farhad was already dead. The supervisor says “you know what you must do.” I gather the inference is Marcos should splatter himself all over the insides of that chamber. Since the detonator doesn’t work, he “must do it manually.”

Jack appears inside the chamber on Jack O’Vision, trying to talk Marcos out of there.

The episode reaches three atmospheres as the clocks tick towards :00 and :56.

Number of times someone says a variation of “Now!”, “No!”, “Move!” or “Go!”: 50
Number of times a “protocol” or “grid” is mentioned: 7
Number of times a “perimeter” is mentioned: 7
Number of times Jack/someone says “Drop the weapon!”: 6
Number of torture scenes : 3
Number of moles: 1
Approximate Body Count: 32, plus one helicopter, plus one thumb, plus one earpiece, plus Farhad (twice)