Viewer discretion is advised because we see a guy doomed to die because of some horrible disease obtained through contact with a weapon of mass destruction. (I meant the guy kissing Olivia in the previews. What did you think I meant?)

The recaps starting off with the Ghost of Quinn turning Senator Mayer into a ghost. Larry says on the phone “Sir, it’s Senator Mayer.” (No word on if the guy on the other end said “Huh? I thought you were dead. You sound like Larry.”) Starkwood, gunfight, cool crashing of containers, Tony taken, and Jack exposed. Not for the last time, I might add. The helo, magically obtained and airborne within seconds, flies off with the Pipe Organ of Death or whatever that is. Everybody is worried about Jack being exposed. But, that bottle was hissing for awhile, the container was cracked open like the Titanic and the door was open. And now, this weapon which was splattered and smeared with bio goop is dangling in the wind flying all over Virginia. Isn’t pretty much a major chunk of the eastern seaboard now exposed?

As we begin, naturally, the hazmat team is already on the scene in force, all suited up. Jack only talked to Larry minutes ago. Is the CDC office across the street? Someone says to Jack  “We need you to get undressed.” Cue the boom-a-chicka music!

Jack waxes on about all the rumors he heard about the bioweapon in Sangala. Rumors he never thought important enough to mention before.

And then, send the kiddies out of the room. Jack drops trou right out there in the road and takes a shower. While modestly covered by something. I was hoping they’d go the Austin Powers route, but alas.

The bioweapon has arrived at Starkwood. Tony is frog marched away, but not before giving flunky Greg Seaton a look. Hodges says to Seaton “Know the psychology of your subject. It’s in our manual.” I work in quite a different place. The manual around here just has stuff about vacation policy and harrassment no-nos.

Oof! Bow! Crack! Tony is being roughed up by goons. Hodges tries the good cop routine though to get Tony to tell them what the FBI knows. Can’t Tony just say he has no idea, because he doesn’t?

Seaton is getting cold feet, and says he’s nervous. Hodges warbles “We’re all nervous. Keep your doubts to yourself.” Though, given what happens later, this scene may have been staged for Tony’s benefit.

Back at the scene of a very strange Spencer Tunick shoot, some doc wants a spinal fluid specimen from Jack. Jack wonders how he’s going to get that in the tiny plastic cup. Someone they’ve figured out that the biobug is an airborne pathogen. Which, again, makes me wonder why they’re not worried about the damaged truck, the open door, and the thingy flying around under the helicopter.

Back at the Being Remodeled and Painted White House, Olivia is helping vett chiefs of staff now? Who did this job before she showed up mere hours ago? And auuugh! She’s going to be provisional chief of staff?! That’s one of the most important jobs in the WH. It’s not for vindicative leakers who weren’t even in the government mere hours ago.

The Prez is considering Rick Berman for the post. Heh. Rick Berman was a longtime Star Trek writer, and lately one of the major minds behind Battlestar Galactica. Given that Brannon Braga and Manny Coto, both Star Trek alums, wrote this episode of 24, the mention is surely deliberate.

Tim Wood comes flying in. The Prez gets more bad news. But doesn’t ask why she wasn’t told earlier. Her solution? A Cabinet meeting!

At the first break, clocks are at :13 to :13. Coming back, clocks are at :17 to :16. Time sheds its minutes and goes streaking down the road.

Renee is still in Holding. Larry comes in to tell his girlfriend that her boyfriend is sick. Hmm, awkward. And awwww, Renee cries.

Olivie asks (er, “asks”) Agent Pierce to be her bodyguard. AND IIIIIIIII-ee-IIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU-OU-OU. He politely tries to decline, but nothing stops Hurricane Olivia.

President Cherry comes into the Situation Room and says “Gentlemen, ladies.” Though, I don’t see a single lady there. Olivia just tromps in like she owns the place. The biobug is a strain of  Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, only much worse. It kills quick. Starkwood has 1,500 mercenaries on the base.

Starkwood sounds more like a cult. How do you find “mercenaries” who are willing to take on the federal government in a gunfight simply for a paycheck?

Someone mentions Posse Comitatus. Ha, I did here as well. President Logan never worried about it.

Tony is in some little room. Stokes comes in and threatens him, but BANGO! Seaton guns him down! He wants to help Tony escape, and stop the insanity.

Jack sits Zen-like in some bio truck. But, eek, the doc opens the door and hands him something! What’s the point of an isolation room if you’re going to open doors?

At the break, clocks are at :26 to :24. Coming back, clocks are at :30 to :28.

Jack is not in quarantine, but, alas, he is infected. But, the disease isn’t contagious. Hmm, not much a bioweapon then, is it? Jack is Patient Zero. Isn’t that a song from The Fixx? Saved By Patient Zero…

Walker goes in to see the shirtless Jack. The way she looks, she’s either in shock, or drooling. Jack is covered in scars. He should’ve told all the stories behind. “Here’s where I was shot, here’s where I broke a rib, here’s where I was tortured in that Chinese prison, this one is from an amazing gal in Laos…”

Walker apparently wants to see more. She says “I need to debrief you.” Jack rolls his eyes and drops trou as the boom-a-chicka music plays.

Larry, or someone at FBI, says something about a statement from the Port Authority cop. How’d they find him so quick? He took off running! And now, Tony call. The calls are coming from inside Starkwood!

At the break, clocks are at :36 to :34. President Palmer selling something! Coming back, clocks are at :40 to :37.

The Prez is looking at some kind of sick snuff film. Oh, it’s footage capture in Sangala a mere 45 minutes ago about bioweapon tests. Funny, they just happened to find the footage at around the same time they discovered the bioweapon even existed. The Prez blathers on about how wrong they were to give military contracts to Starkwood. If this is some cheap attempt to comment on Blackwater, then the show can bite me.

Ah, Seaton wants an immunity agreement to tell where the bioweapon is being held. It just wouldn’t be a season of 24 without an immunity agreement somewhere. One the tropes about how 24 does immunity agreements is that they are agreed to and passed out within minutes. Here, they don’t disappoint.

The agreement will be uploaded with Product Placement, I mean, Cisco WebEx. It’s an amazing work for having been cooked up in a few minutes. Full of legalese. However, there’s one hilarious detail. There’s a date at the bottom. The day is Nov 2, and the year is described as the 231st year of Independence, which would be 2007! ha! no way is it 2007 in the 24-verse.

The FBI assault will be “supplemented” with a Navy SEAL team. Heh. That’s like the Sister Mary School for the Deaf and Blind Junior Varsity football team being supplemented with the Dallas Cowboys.

Seaton has his agreement, so he discloses the location of the bioweapon with… latitude and longitude! Oh, my heart caught in my throat. This show does amazingly wrong things with latitude and longitude, so I couldn’t wait to see where this was. This Starkwood compound is supposedly in Virginia outside of DC. Seaton says the location is 32 44.23N, 117 10.42W. Which is…. near the San Diego Airport. Oops. I know Seaton is trying to mislead them by pointing them to the wrong location,  but I think that would be pretty easy to catch. “Sir, why are we going out to California?” “Shut up, private! If I want your opinion I’ll ask for it! Do you read me, maggot!”

Naturally, Jack wants to go on the raid. Larry refuses, and Jack seemingly gives up way too easily. You, like I was, I’m sure, were probably thinking that Jack was merely plotting how to go along anyway.

At the break, clocks are at :46 to :43. President Palmer selling something! Coming back, clocks are at :51 to :47.

Seaton pulls up to a gate, and then Tony, Creature of the Night that he is, materializes out of nowhere and clobbers a security guard. Larry is in Aerial One! Ha, that’s what the helo Bill and Jack were in was called in this episode.

Larry wants to run Tac plan alpha. Sounds like those lame Star Trek “Evasive maneuver delta.”

Right about then, I’m thinking, ok, this has to be a big fake, because there are still 8 hours left in the season. They can’t find the bioweapon now. And sure enough. Seaton has led them to an empty warehouse. He tries to say Tony threatened him and he only said what Tony wanted to hear. To his credit, Larry doesn’t buy it for a minute.

They will try to search the rest of this large compound, but are suddenly surrounded by cult members who come roaring up in military vehicles. Ah, Stokes is still alive!

This episode ends in a Mexican standoff with the clocks at :00 to :56.

Number of times someone says a variation “Now!”, “No!”, “Move!” or “Go!”: 66
Number of times a “protocol” or “grid” is mentioned: 12
Number of times a “perimeter” is mentioned: 11
Number of times Jack/someone says “Drop the weapon!”: 8
Number of torture scenes : 6
Number of moles: 6
Approximate Body Count: 73, plus one security camera, plus two planes, plus one cable, plus numerous glass doors, plus one finger, plus vintage bottles of methane